The existential urgency that I always felt to be present for my child and with my child and to consciously experience every moment with her is due to a traumatic emptiness, even having grown up without a birth mother. The feeling that I was literaly thrown into this world in the truest sense of the german word “mutterseelenallein” has always been with me. The despair that I often felt that I could not devote myself to painting to the extent that I desired, increasingly gave way to the clarity that art and life are one. My daily being, my experience as a mother was and always is embedded in being and thinking as an artist. I think creativity is more than the number of its products. It encompasses thinking, life and all creative processes as a whole, regardless of their physically visible manifestations.